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Saturday, November 21, 2009

A Differently Abled Child at Home

If at all my words makes sense it is possible that this is not half of the ordeal we have been through in the last 34 years. What is different? She talks like me, she thinks like me, she feels like me, she is emotional, she feels the cold, she knows what needs to be done in summers, she laughs like me, she weeps like me… yet she is different. Her heart and mind are of just a 5 year old and it never grew beyond that. She is still that little child. Maybe all cannot understand how trying it is to have a child who is different, who is not normal or more so who is differently abled.
As a closed knit family we have been so happy and I along with my two sisters had a very blessed childhood. Soon my parents’ toughest battle started and they were not aware or didn’t accept at that time that this is a life long struggle and perhaps will continue even after that. The realization that my younger sister cannot continue her studies further in a normal school. At that time her age was just 5 years and to go beyond K.G. class was not possible. She was unable to grasp things after a certain stage and the principal nun of that school called my parents to say so. Here was a shock, my parents were so ignorant, and tried to find the roots as to what went amiss. I am too less with words of expression, me and my elder sister were too young to even get the vibes of our parents agony. I cannot recall that day and for how many more days they must have ran from here to there in search of truth. Went back to the doctor in whose hands my sister was born, a very much normal delivery. The doctor is my dad’s cousin and definitely took utmost care in everything. The reasons couldn’t help in her treatment and we had one option and that is to go with the truth. Should I skip writing my parents’ those moments? Has anyone gone through such torments? Can anyone give me some words to describe?
Now what, at play I would be guiding her and keep a constant vigil, all I knew was that she is different. Often my lil’ troop makes fun of her inability to play a game well, where I stood fighting for her and wouldn’t allow anyone to even come near her. She was the angel of our house and her protection was the foremost duty for us two sisters. Gradually we learnt to live with the shortcomings before we learnt that she is differently abled. From medical treatment to tantrik tricks we have not spared a chance to see her as one like us. Don’t know how much money has flown away for our one wish and that to without seeing a pinch of success.
Ok much later we learnt that she cannot be cured 100% but sure to a lot if proper methods were adopted. Sometimes she is very sweet, sometimes aggressive, all in various moods which seemed difficult to understand. It was a struggle for all of us to keep her happy, simple she wanted love, and she understands only the language of love. To understand the gravity at large I even attended workshops whenever feasible for me.
She wants to talk, speak out everything in her heart, she goes to a special school and wants to share all her day to day activities. All we need is give her attention. Sometimes it’s very difficult to cope up as we too are also preoccupied, and do feel guilty of not being able to take care as required. To move over the social stigma was not easy, and still we find it difficult to confront certain sections of the society. To answer in-numerous questions of these people, Gosh! Ask me how much effort is required to tell them that they are harmless, love them and you can mean the world to them.
I know she also has a dream of having her own family, maybe she too wants a man in her life who would pamper her, love her, but is this possible? I sometimes feel she wants to express such things, knowing that it is not possible I can only change the topic to more of a childish play. We are trying to make each day a happy one for her, for us, don’t know the success rate yet and maybe we will not count and look back either. Now that years have gone by we are still not sure of what we finally want to see.
She is just one child in the house and there are so many around, and the families must have gone through the same. We need to single out what is special about them, in many and major aspects they are not you and me, let us count on their capabilities and enhance them, only we can make place for them. Let us make some time for them. Let us love them.

1 comment:

B Shantanu said...

Very moving post Nandini...
My prayers are with you